Parental Separation

Brianna Golez Professor Fraga English 1A 23 July 2012 Parental Separation The parents' sole duty is to raise and, by definition, nurture their children as a whole unit. Compromising on decisions and communication are the factors that contribute to a healthy and comfortable environment for families. But what repercussions surface when endless disagreements and lack of toleration disrupt that peace while the parents are still legally imprisoned in their â€Å"marriage†? Unlike divorce, the separation between parents is harder to cope with for any adolescent or child and causes more anxiety and stress upon the household.While divorce is thought of to be a quick procession, it can take an average of six months for it to be finalized. By the end of the documentations and meetings, the children involved are used to the idea of living separately and most likely knowing how to cope. Contrarily, separation comes before the need of the divorce and is the time where emotions for adolesce nts and any minors in that situation are at its peak of denial and unease. Many things can stress a marriage and even before the decision of a separation, give the minors within the household the feeling of anxiety and forthcoming of downhill events.Dr. William Doherty of the Family Science Department at the University of Minnesota found that forty percent of long separated couples regret their decision and thought it could have been prevented. It is common children are susceptible to feeling guilt over their parents' reason of becoming distant and argumentative; however, main characteristics for separation included a low level of education and couples that had entered marriage at a younger age. Over one in every four children have had to endure the separation of their mother and father.The stresses and perplexity of the situation is more difficult as they try to adjust to new settings, surroundings, and living arrangements. The difficulty of adjustment puts pressure upon the minors because it involves the parents trying to come to agreements without the engagement of legal enforcement. For teenagers, they are in a state where the independence that is trying to be established can be jeopardized by them having to mature faster than normal and assume greater responsibilities. As well as feeling the need to run the household and fill the role of that missing parent.This turmoil can go on to cause problems on their attitudes towards school, people, and the relationship with their parents. Research done by a team from King's College London found that over half the children who lived separately had optimistic views because they had been â€Å"active in decisions about these arrangements and were more likely to have positive feelings about moving between households†. It has also been found that drops in health, high school dropout rates, teen births, and teen suicides also increase to twice as likely due to parental separation.Not only do children of split mar riages feel the helplessness of their predicament, they feel the want of a better communication between them. According to a subject of parental separation, Brittney Golez, stated â€Å"it was an emotional time where you were not sure what would happen next and if things were going to get worse†. The months prior to the divorce are the hardest and become less likely for reconciliation as she later goes on to say, â€Å"things would be easier if they were back together, and it only creates more stress for me when I don't know what more I can do†.This common point of view on the life before a divorce for an adolescent illustrates the uprooting of living in two households at one time; therefore making for an unstable environment. The relationship that is most crucial for the well being of children and adolescents are frequently disrupted by the complexity of separation. Stress in the parents is what only increases the stress levels of their offspring and in turn provide m ore frustration and risk towards the family's health.Complications continue to arise in this epidemic for the twelve million children among the country and the one in ever four who experience it. Cited Works 1. Golez, Brittney T. â€Å"Parent Separation. † Personal interview. 21 July 2012. 2. Kiln, Laura. â€Å"Parental Separation. †Ã‚  Familylawwebguide. com. Family Law WEB Guide, 27 Nov. 2008. Web. 23 July 2012. ;http://www. familylawwebguide. com. au/news/pg/news/view/545/index. php;. 3. Lundstrom, Karin, and Andreas Raneke. â€Å"Family Structures and Separations Among First Time Parents.   Scb. se. Statistics Sweden, 30 Mar. 2012. Web. 21 July 2012. . 4. â€Å"On Children and Separation. †Ã‚  Separatedfamiliesmatter. org. uk. Both Parents Matter, 2009. Web. 21 July 2012. . 5. Rooks, Linda. â€Å"Statistics On Separation and Divorce. †Ã‚  Separation. N. p. , 9 June 2003. Web. 21 July 2012. .